i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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