i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
