he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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