we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
