even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
