We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
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I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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