Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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