I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
