Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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