Me. At least after what I've been through.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she peed on how many people?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
