Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
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Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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