Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
