you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
