i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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