Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
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Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
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I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize