maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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