these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
