im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
