Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
