Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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