Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
