just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
