I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
