don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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