Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
A+ Viking dick
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize