I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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