hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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