he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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