So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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