Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
