me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize