at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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