Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
