I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
