she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
