im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
