I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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