Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
