Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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