Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
