And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
