No stitches, just platelets and will power
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
