He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
