Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
