fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
