party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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