Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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