I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
