On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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