I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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