put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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