All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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