I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
