so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize