We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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