We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
