Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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