my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
