I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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