im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.