I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you