true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"