whats a polygalesbian?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.