My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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