I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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