There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
