How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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