I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pants are for mortals
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
