you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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