Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
