is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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