And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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