yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
