Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
